my mind feels the most alive when i’m traveling somewhere new.

when i see a place that’s quite different from where i’m used to, it kicks something in my brain: so this reality exists. why am i limiting myself and my dreams when this kind of life exists?

i believe i’m really fond of designing, making things beautiful. as a kid, i’d always stay up late to achieve the best-designed project there is. i wanted to make my dreams and my vision come to life. i wrote them down so clearly in my journal. all the descriptions, how it should be done, and how much time it would take for me to complete it. i have checklists with very specific items listed. my mom is always at a loss for words when i tell her the things i wanted to do in life.

you could say i’m quite passionate about achieving things and designing a structure on how to get there. but surely: it always starts with a vision. then a concrete plan on how to do it.

but i noticed that the best things that happened to me were not well-planned at all. they weren’t even in the checklist because, to me, at that very moment, they just didn’t make sense at all. some of the best things that happened that literally changed my life are those things that i didn’t think much of, but instead just went for without second thoughts.

those things i didn’t question myself about if i’m doing the right thing, i just continued and took more action. it seems to be that i was in a very dark tunnel that i couldn’t even see anything in, but i kept walking until i saw a glimpse of light. then i started to see more light. until everything i do starts to make sense.

only a few people talk about those moments of darkness where you don’t know where you’re going. because it was uncomfortable. it’s not something a responsible daughter would do. jump into darkness and just hope things would work out.

but traveling taught me that it’s okay to feel lost. google maps and ai are not one hundred percent accurate. sometimes you have to put your phone down and figure things out by yourself. you reach out to strangers to ask for directions. you just keep walking and taking the view in, even without the assurance that you’re going to get to your destination.

until you get there.

sometimes it doesn’t make sense at first… until you get there.

this year, i vowed to myself that i’m going to take more action toward the dreams planted in my heart. i will publish that website. i will publish that book. i will buy that camera and start posting videos again. i will work only on the things that matter to me. i will keep traveling more. i will continue to romanticize my life again.

i will stop feeling afraid to pursue things. it may sound easier said than done, but isn’t it only scary because it’s new? not because we’re not capable. deep in our hearts, we know we could do more. we could do better. there’s more to this version of us that’s working for someone else’s business. i want to work for myself this time. i want to be able to work for myself and see more fascinating places in this lifetime.

this year, it’s time for us to go after what we want headfirst. no overthinking this time. just keep walking through the tunnel until we finally see the light.

because sometimes, things just don’t make sense until we get there, right?